Richard Ingate

I think a useful distinction in this context is between, 'adapted' and 'adaptive'.

When we are adapted to a situation we are fixed within it. This doesn't necessarily mean, in a good way. An employee can be adapted to working within a company culture where they are bullied, a spouse can be adapted to living within a relationship that is abusive.

'Adaptive' means there is creative potential for change, we are not identified with our limitations, with our history, but rather with the creative potential within us. Thus the employee stays long enough to find another job or starts her own business (for example), the spouse works to change the relationship or walks, to love again.

Is life expectancy higher in the 'East' than the 'West'? I did a quick search and it looks to be the opposite with life expectancy being higher in Europe than Asia.


I agree that mindfulness can help us age better psychologically and spiritually. However, Buddhist monks also get old and sick. This includes some of the leading lights of the 'mindfulness professionals' such as Ajahn Chah, and currently Ajahn Sumedho, who is now almost blind.

Mindfulness may have beneficial side effects that make it a useful addition to an overall lifestyle, but this is more about the quality of your engagement and insight into 'how things are' rather than holding back the tides of time.

Thank you for responding, it was interesting to reflect on my own inclination to 'give advice' and see things in terms of something to 'fix', whereas you actually have a system that makes sense to you and works for you and so it would be a disservice for anyone to try and change it, from the outside, to something that looks 'better' 'healthier' etc etc.

When I take this as a lens to look at my own work , it is another example of the value of a coach (in my case) taking their own 'understanding' out of the conversation and helping the client explore their world so that it's the client who has the insights and moves forward rather than the coach!

Thank you!

I appreciated your linking of fear with 'not good enough' because it points to the webs of perception we develop as hard wiring meets social conditioning over the year.

My favourite 'fear' story is about Ajahn Chah, one of the pioneers of meditative Thai Buddhism, who as a young man was terrified of ghosts (a big and real part of Thai culture). He took up a practice as a monk of spending the night in grave yards, which in Thailand also means snakes as well as potential spirits and ghosts. He learned to 'patiently endure', ie abide with fear without being overwhelmed.