I think a useful distinction in this context is between, 'adapted' and 'adaptive'.
When we are adapted to a situation we are fixed within it. This doesn't necessarily mean, in a good way. An employee can be adapted to working within a company culture where they are bullied, a spouse can be adapted to living within a relationship that is abusive.
'Adaptive' means there is creative potential for change, we are not identified with our limitations, with our history, but rather with the creative potential within us. Thus the employee stays long enough to find another job or starts her own business (for example), the spouse works to change the relationship or walks, to love again.