What could be your trances for success?
I use hypnosis in my coaching sessions. That may seem something to be a little curious about, so let me explain.
Perhaps the client wants to have career success, but they feel stuck. There is a sinking feeling of just not knowing what to do, but of needing to stay in a job that does not fulfill them — if only to pay the bills.
You get what you focus on.
This client (perhaps he or she is familiar) is trapped in a thinking/feeling loop. It’s a waking trance. Whatever actual possibilities…
I think a useful distinction in this context is between, 'adapted' and 'adaptive'.
When we are adapted to a situation we are fixed within it. This doesn't necessarily mean, in a good way. An employee can be adapted to working within a company culture where they are bullied, a spouse can be adapted to living within a relationship that is abusive.
'Adaptive' means there is creative potential for change, we are not identified with our limitations, with our history, but rather with the creative potential within us. Thus the employee stays long enough to find another job or starts her own business (for example), the spouse works to change the relationship or walks, to love again.
Is life expectancy higher in the 'East' than the 'West'? I did a quick search and it looks to be the opposite with life expectancy being higher in Europe than Asia.
I agree that mindfulness can help us age better psychologically and spiritually. However, Buddhist monks also get old and sick. This includes some of the leading lights of the 'mindfulness professionals' such as Ajahn Chah, and currently Ajahn Sumedho, who is now almost blind.
Mindfulness may have beneficial side effects that make it a useful addition to an overall lifestyle, but this is more about the quality of your engagement and insight into 'how things are' rather than holding back the tides of time.
Thank you for responding, it was interesting to reflect on my own inclination to 'give advice' and see things in terms of something to 'fix', whereas you actually have a system that makes sense to you and works for you and so it would be a disservice for anyone to try and change it, from the outside, to something that looks 'better' 'healthier' etc etc.
When I take this as a lens to look at my own work , it is another example of the value of a coach (in my case) taking their own 'understanding' out of the conversation and helping the client explore their world so that it's the client who has the insights and moves forward rather than the coach!
Mary Chang Story Writer
Thank you for your kind comment, Mary! I suspect much of the 'new normal' will be the 'old normal' trying to reassert (unwholesome) hierarchies - so resilience and responsiveness will be at a premium!
I appreciated your linking of fear with 'not good enough' because it points to the webs of perception we develop as hard wiring meets social conditioning over the year.
My favourite 'fear' story is about Ajahn Chah, one of the pioneers of meditative Thai Buddhism, who as a young man was terrified of ghosts (a big and real part of Thai culture). He took up a practice as a monk of spending the night in grave yards, which in Thailand also means snakes as well as potential spirits and ghosts. He learned to 'patiently endure', ie abide with fear without being overwhelmed.
Meditation can be a powerful technology for transformation. One of the unfortunate consequences of the secularisation of meditation and proliferation of 'mindfulness courses' (for example) as the answer for anything and everything, is a larger number of people are trying meditation without any background in the context and probably little in the way of being assessed as to their suitability for such practices.
I have continued a meditation practice for over 40 years and learned with, and from Buddhist and other monastic practitioners who were living and teaching within a framework where meditation was only one aspect of practice …